Who To Invite to the Birthday Party and Still Be Polite

Who to invite to the Birthday Party – sometimes it’s a sticky situation.
You envision a huge party with happy kids and 25 new friends for your child.
Your child is dreaming of all those 25 presents piled high on the dining room table.
Those are both great dreams … but there is birthday party reality.

Birthday Party Reality:
Inviting everyone from the class is sometimes overwhelming and expensive.
It will set you up to host the 3 worst kids in class who’s parents need a babysitter for the day.
It will bring the classroom dynamic into your home  – the bully will be the bully, the princess will still want things her own way.
15 – 20 kids can never be happy at the same time.
Visions of everyone playing the games nicely, sharing and taking care not to get chocolate frosting on the white carpet is not reality.

Bigger is not always better – For my daughter’s 8th birthday we invited the whole class and only 2 girls showed up.  Granted it was only a few days until Thanksgiving, but I was devastated.  2 guests!! I thought the party was ruined and I was a party planning failure.  The reality – they had the best time EVER!  They really got to know each other and now 5 years later are still best friends.  My daughter still thinks it was one of her best parties.

So invite the kids that will make the party fun for your child. 

A good rule of thumb on how many kids to invite is still – one guest per age of the birthday child.  If your child is turning 7 then invite 7 guests.

Most school policies about handing out invitations is that if they are handed out in school then every child must get one.  This is a good rule and there are several ways to work with it, or go around it.

Some teachers will allow you to place the invitations only in the childrens take home folders who are invited to the party.  Others will allow you to only invite boys or girls.  If neither of these is an option then you can mail or drop the invitation by the kids homes.

Not everyone will show up that you invite, but you can have control over who enters your house and who becomes friends with your child.

So, invite the kids that will make the party fun and give your child a chance to bond in an unstressful reality.

More fun birthday party ideas for kids including over 200 party themes.

2 thoughts on “Who To Invite to the Birthday Party and Still Be Polite

  1. Hoping you could give me some advice. My daughter is celebrating her 5th birthday soon and wants a very girly My Little Pony party with water play. She is inviting our neighbor girls who are her age but we would like to exclude their 7 year old brother. Is that acceptable to include 2 siblings and not the other?

  2. It is fine to invite only the two sisters. Talk with their mother before the party and explain the situation – she can then prepare her son before the party that it’s “girls only”. You might want to save a piece of cake for him and send it home as a treat.

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